We don’t often notice change within ourselves. It happens over the years, slowly but surely. We mature, age, experience new things and subtly develop in new ways.
Occasionally though, it all feels like a crack of lightning, throwing itself around inside our bodies.
Right now, I’ve been feeling the rumbling of a clap of thunder roll through my for about two years. I occasionally get a new bolt of lightning, and it renews and refreshes me. Each time, I move forward in my understanding of myself, of society, of my family and friends, of how the World works.
It’s an odd feeling at times, and not one I can describe easily. Some people call it an awakening, but to me waking up is an act of a few minutes and then you feel awake until you decide to fall asleep again, and this doesn’t feel like that. It’s more like a growth, a surge in awareness, a move to tolerance and empathy and understanding.
I used to want to fight the World. I was just angry, and even angrier that nobody else seemed as angry as me. Now I don’t want to fight at all – I want to inspire. I want to produce things that make people stand back and think “I can do something about this” and to get that same feeling within themselves as I do.
Some of this reminds of how I felt as a kid when I was at school. I was brought up as a Catholic, and there was definitely a moment when I felt a change within myself, that people told me sounded like “being touched by the Holy Spirit”. It was an inner calm and confidence, a connectedness and awareness of the World around me and the inner beauty of people. It was beautiful but it faded. I’m starting to feel that way again, but without the need for religion. Or is it? In recent months, my mind has turned back to spiritual matters once more, and my mind seems more settled the more I think about it. I don’t declare knowledge or love of God, merely an openness to the World around me. It’s a very strange phenomenon.
Anyway, regardless of where I end up going, it’s time to start the real work at hand, and to push forward with my aims for this project.
Over the course of the next year, I will be producing a series of short videos to be distributed online that quickly and easily communicate a series of messages to people that make people stand back and think “I can do something about this”. This blog will move from being about me, to being about you. It will hopefully develop to the point whereby people start conversations about the things I think about a lot of the time: society, and its structure; the corporation and its places in the World; the true cost of human greed; the move away from liberal intellectualism within politics; the self-delusions that affect us all.
When those conversations start, I hope people will start getting the feelings I do – the lightning strike within their souls that drive them to do something. Let the journey now begin, proper.
